i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
