when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
