One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize