Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize