so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
