Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
