I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just gift wrapped bread.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
