worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
