i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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