yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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