Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
