Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
