question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
