there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
