I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
