She's JV to your varsity
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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