the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
