just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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