somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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