Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize