just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
