we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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