doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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