shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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