Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
time to smoke my breakfast
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
