Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
BRING THE BAGELS
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
