playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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