The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
