end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
