I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
