If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
