The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
