i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
