you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
