I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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