Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
