So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I party with great urgency now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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