Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(289): View more from Ontario

i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?

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(440): View more from Ohio

My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.

(216): View more from Ohio

whore

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."

(817): View more from Texas

I was drunk but it's true

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(704): View more from North Carolina

so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...

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(786): View more from Florida

I miss vodka workout Fridays

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.

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(248): View more from Michigan

You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.

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(616): View more from Michigan

My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"

(1-616): View more from Michigan

I think you were raised by the wrong sister

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(770): View more from Georgia

Sorry about peeing on your phone last night

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