She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You dont lie about slip and slides
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize