I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
