I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
