So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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