peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
