Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
