I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
