I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
