I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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