I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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