Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(229): View more from Georgia

whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says

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(312): View more from Illinois

Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.

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(951): View more from California

Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf

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(937): View more from Ohio

All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely

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(616): View more from Michigan

I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Seriously, fuck work.

(1-910): View more from North Carolina

uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car

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(303): View more from Colorado

Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.

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