Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
