false alarm. still invincible.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
