Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
