please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my shit smells like andre
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
