Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize