sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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