stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize