One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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