His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
