OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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