I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize