Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
